When we are single and get tired from dating multiple people, we dream, wish and long for one serious committed relationship. It sounds so sweet in our mind and we are imagining happily ever after. “Oh, how lovely it would be if only I find that special someone…”
What if that “special” someone is just the “ordinary” someone with who you blend perfectly with.
How about we reverse the list and instead of forcing a person to fit into our idea of “special”, we just let them be who they are and allow magic to happen?
Even if we do marry that special someone, soon we will discover that “special” is in the eyes of a beholder.
A client called me saying “I am pissed, angry and want to kick his ass to the moon…!”
Because she assumed that he is cheating on her and although she had no proof of it, her emotions were all over the place. She said she wanted him to change, to be different and to correct his ways.
I said – “All we know is that he could be eating chips right now, sitting on the toilet, without even knowing what’s going on with you. We can’t change him, but we could do something about how you feel…”
So, we addressed her anger, we addressed cheating and the history of human urges to cheat. We replaced insecurity with ease. Panic with stillness. We made peace with life. It was a refreshing feeling for her. She loved how she felt and no matter how much I tried to trigger scary thoughts, there were no more fears about cheating.
After speaking with her loving husband, she realized that she made it all up.
Why? To keep her story of being a victim up and to prove that she doesn’t deserve that “special” someone, because her mom told her so.
This is another example of how addressing your inner self, your own feelings and insecurities leads to freedom. There is no need to change that special someone. There is no need to kick his ass to the moon. Life is much friendlier than we can even imagine. Your spouse is probably too:-)
Feel free to share the story from your experience when you were “certain” that things were one way, just to realize it’s much better than you thought.
With all of my Delicious love to your “special” self,