“…I just found out (via FaceBook) that he (the man I met on match.com) is actually married with kids. I feel like contacting his wife and telling her….”
To do it or not to do it? That is the question.
And what to do if you find friends spouse on a dating site?
Our Primitive brain itches to answer “Shall I tell or not?” question and creates all kinds of inner drama for us. We can even feel imprisoned by this conflict.
If you are familiar with my “Feelosophy”, I am all about partnerships, communication and coming from the higher, more delicious place within us, BEFORE we go out to the world.
Answer to this question is VERY individual. Meaning, it depends on who you are as an individual and what is your state of mind prior to the action you want to do..
When we are in a space of calmness and flow we do different things then when we are in the space of stress. Before telling his wife (or doing anything else) we could get in the place of calm awareness FIRST.
Personally, I was approached by a married men too – and I responded differently each time.
When I was feeling betrayed, surprised and creeped out, I reacted from my impulsive, primitive brain, telling him (and his wife) how terrible that is. I felt as an “important” contributor to cleaning up the internet from the losers like him.But, deep inside, after all was said and done, it didn’t feel good being “righteous”. It was not my business to police other people’s relationships. Strangers, for all I know.
If however, you find out that you best friend’s husband is floating around on match, pretending to be single, what to do then?
Again, I would reach to my heart first. Get to the place of calmness and love. Then have a simple, friendly conversation, that can, if she is ready, turn into a deep, meaningful enriching dialog about love and relationships. From there, you can see if she is ready and willing to hear it.
Believe it or not, often times we don’t want to hear it. Just as if with procrastination, extra weight or messy house – we know we “should” do something about it, but we don’t want to hear it from others.Honesty is best policy… unless it’s not.
Then kindness is better policy.
Last week, I had a client who had similar situation with her husband. I didn’t give her any advice, but we went to the place of peace first. Then she made her own decision.
We function best when we make our own decision from the mature, rational place.
Thus, to tell or not, reach in and make your own decision.
If you find yourself struggling with it, help yourself by helping your primitive brain first. The link is to the incredibly effective program that will help you build lasting confidence.
…and that’s just one of the ways to Liv Delicious…