QUESTION: “Dear Helena, when it comes to online dating, is sex an immediate and non-stop topic of negotiation? I’m feeling like I am holding back a pack of wolves sometimes. Every time I try to say it, it comes out angry and/or bitter. Any tips? Tricks?”
ANSWER: When it comes to online dating, use advantage of your ability to WRITE IT IN THE PROFILE.
When it comes to hot topics, such as sex, do not mention that word. It overpowers the rest of your profile. It’s a VERY loaded word. Instead say something like: “…and BTW, if you are looking for a quickie, I wish you to best, honestly gained quickie of your life. With someone else. Not with me. I’m a slowie. Slowie and very goodie.” Or use the words of the song Remedy by Jason Mraz “When I fall in love, I take my time. There’s no need to hurry when I’m making up my mind”.
Play with words and be clear!
The essence of this RECIPE is to only put a DASH of it. Those touchy things that have to be said and can sound angry or bitter are just like chili peppers. No need to smear them all over. Say it once and make sure your energy compliments it.
..but add variety of chocolates – kind, fun, playful, loving words!
Love is like cooking.
If you KNOW what you want to cook, it’s easier to collect your groceries.
Have few ideas about what you want to talk about. You can always, out of the blue, just ask fun question i.e “Hey, what do you think about zombie apocalypse?” or “If you would have power over this city, what are the 3 things that would help green-it-up?” or “Who inspires you?” … or something like that. Be curious. Be clear. Redirect conversation to what feels Delicious to you. (Download my “Cheek up” e-book for free, it has 108 fun ideas and things you can do/talk about on your dates, it will open up your mind in many ways)
A real Gentleman will respect your clarity and boundaries. They, too, want to have enriching, meaningful relationships that are healthy, uplifting and safe.
I believe this specific tip will shift a lot in your dating world. Post your comments. Share. And Luv Delicious!